Yom Kippur Away

Things I learned on Yom Kippur in Amshinov:

1. You can find bloggers and diqduq geeks anywhere
   
2. 45 minute break? — Not so bad after all
   
3. I am not a psycho killer (kess keh say), in case yall were wondering
   
4. Rosh Yeshiva hhazaning Ne‘ila: makes up in emotive inspiration what it lacks in musical training
   
5. Disappearing trip-up tree branch = Musta been a sheid
   
6. To turn a girly kitl into a manly one, simply snip off the doilies with a pair of scissors
   
7. There's nothing more impressive than THE Vilna Sha"s
   
8. Jastrow wasn't an apikores; he just had an attitude problem
   
9. Lema‘an nehhdal mei‘osheq yadeinu is from Viduy of Ne‘ila, not the Tanakh
   
10. Are you annoyed by drivers on dark highways at night who shine their brights at you from behind? Are you pissed off that they just might blind you and cause you to get into an accident? Well have we got the solution for you! For just 5 easy payments of 29.95, StAm Neqama Incorporated will equip your vehicle with a portable 1000-candlepower floodlight/maglight, which you can point backwards and 'bright' those bastards right back.
    
11. When jokers go all serious, it's frikkin scary, yo
    
12. Nobody uses chickens for kaparos anymore
    

(this post was back-dated to Friday, actually written Sunday)