Getting Used to a Year of Kaddish
Thanks to everyone who called, visited, IM'd, emailed, or left blog comments... now it's time to get back to life. At some point during the shiva, someone told my brother that it seems as if the mourning customs of shiva are meant to keep you all cooped up inside for so long that once it's over you want nothing else but to go back and reintegrate into normal life. Of course, with the additional sheloshim and year restrictions for mourning a parent, it's not quite normal.
I've been discovering just how hard it is to execute a properly-synchronized kaddish with other people saying it. Now I understand why it always seems in shul as if everyone saying kaddish is going at their own pace; unless you're trained to listen to others' sounds and produce your own at the same time (as PT explained) it's very hard to monitor other people's kaddish and sync yours up with theirs.
The shul I usually go to has the old Ashkenazic custom of having only one person say kaddish at a time. They also have an additional mizmor of Tehillim after Shahhris, and three after Ma‘ariv, that kaddishes can be inserted before, between and after, in order so that everyone gets a turn. I may prefer that method, although if there's a large number of people saying kaddish it may end up that someone doesn't get a chance; that part doesn't sound so good. But I'll see when I go home later today or this week.